ARECENT date with an Italian man has opened my eyes to what it's like to be alone in a big city. He has been here almost three years, has perfect English, a lovely personality, is very funny and quite sexy to boot - but has only one or two acquaintances, and these he met through work. He finds the Irish cold, unfriendly and very hard to approach. But he would love to get to know a few more people.

So how does one make new friends in a city too busy to stop and talk? I think I've stumbled on the answer with The Lunch Club.

The Lunch Club is the brainchild of Jared Nissim, a New Yorker who works at home, alone. In 2001 Jared decided he had eaten one too many lunches on his own. Chancing his arm, he placed a message on a website looking for people who were free in the afternoons and who would like to meet up for something to eat and a chat.

He was surprised by the response. What started with a couple of replies snowballed into what has become The Lunch Club, with 12,000 members worldwide - New York, London, Boston and now Dublin, which has over 200 members to date.

So, it seems we do want to make friends - we just need a little help.

I popped along to the second meeting of the Dublin Lunch Club in the Odessa restaurant last week to see if I could expand my circle. With 50 people signed up to the one o'clock "brunch", I was bound to click with a couple of them - wasn't I?

Coming down the stairs of the restaurant, my heart was palpitating. I felt like I was going for an interview. In the dimly lit basement sat a table of 12 people engrossed in conversation; no one acknowledged me. I just sat timidly down at a big table all on my own. But a few seconds later I was joined by another girl, 'It's a different social scene, rather than

just going to

the pub'

and within minutes I was chatting away to a table full of down-to-earth, talkative, interesting and people. It was so refreshing to chat to women and men, knowing there were no hidden agendas.

Four of us broke off into a smaller group: a nice mix of a businessman, an artist, an entrepreneur and me the journo. Different jobs, different outlooks on life, each of us with our own stories to tell. It was strangely easy to talk to complete strangers, and we had a right old laugh.

The Lunch Club age group ranged from mid-20s to mid-50s, and the male to female ratio was pretty even.

The brunch itself was quite delicious; unfortunately it doesn't come free (it's in addition to the €5 you pay per Lunch Club event), but a reasonably priced restaurant is always chosen.

One person per table was assigned to be treasurer. I got lumbered with the job, but but it proved no problem - everyone coughed up more than enough and the waitress was left with a hefty tip.

At half past three about thirty of us headed off.

. Congregating around the bar rather than tables made it far easier to get to chat to a lot more people - as did the alcohol consumed.

It was John from Terenure's second time coming to The Lunch Club. "It's very good, very enjoyable. Everyone seems pretty cool, very relaxed and easygoing. It's just something different to do. It's a different social scene rather than just going to the pub, and it's nice to get out and have a meal and meet different people. It can be hard to meet new people these days."

Hugh, a speed-dating website owner, agrees. "It's good craic. I'm self-employed, so I know the idea was born out of an environment in which a guy was self-employed and was stuck in a box and wanted to get out and meet people like this. I think a lot of people who are here are in similar situations, so this is a good idea."

Paul from Mullingar agrees that it's increasingly hard to meet new people. "If you go up to a bar to meet someone, they think you're weird. I actually wouldn't have the courage to go up to someone in a bar because if I say, 'Hi, how are you?' to a girl she'll think I'm chatting her up - and if I say it to a guy he'll probably think I'm chatting him up too. You can't talk to anybody."

Everyone I met had the same view: that The Lunch Club was a great laugh and exactly what Dublin needed - and other cities and towns too. As Jared said to me, "The club is about creating community and providing people with an opportunity for group interaction, to help people make new friends and broaden their world."

www.thelunchclub.com

Emma Nolan